Blog / Mama's Musings

I already have all the stuff.

It is now perfectly obvious that I’m pregnant. It’s no mistake, you can’t miss it.
A lot of people ask me if this is my first, and when I reply that it’s my third it eventually comes out:
I’m having another boy.

Three boys?!
Yes. Three boys.

And you know what? I’m looking forward to it.  No, I’m not crazy.

Here’s a typical conversation with a stranger, client, or acquaintance:

“Do you know what you’re having?”
“We’re having another boy”
“And your other two are…?”
“Both boys”
“Wow. Three boys. You’re going to be busy.”
“Yes, it should be lots of fun. We’re looking forward to it.”
“Whew. Well good luck. Do you think you’ll try again for a girl?”
“Thank you.  You know, honestly, I was hoping for another boy, so it all works out. If we decided to have 4 we’ll be trying for a 4th, not specifically for a boy or a girl”
Pause “well I guess that makes sense, I mean boys are easy, and you already have all the stuff”

I already have all the stuff?

Do people really hope for one gender or another because they already have the “stuff”?

I should say, I’ve always understood boys a little better than girls. I relate to them a little easier. I appreciate their humor and the way they look at life.  Admittedly, I was always a person who related to my male friends better than my female friends (if I had any) and it wasn’t until I became an adult and after I was married that I established more close relationships with women than with men. I’ve found having a house full of boys feels quite natural to me.

But not only do I have the “stuff” for boys… I actually like raising boys.
Yeah, the parenting part.

Now, I wouldn’t have been disappointed to have a girl either. I can see the appeal. Yes, the clothes are cuter. But also, it would be nice to have someone to “pass down” things that are unique to being a woman.  There is a bond there and I can certainly appreciate that.

At one time I imagined having a daughter, and teaching her to be a strong, confident, feminist woman.
And yet, it is just as important to start teaching our boys to be strong, confident, feminist men. It seems to me that raising boys who value and respect women is just as important than raising girls who assert themselves. Imagine if we put the same amount of effort into raising confident, feminist boys as we spent empowering our daughters.

So, I’ll take my thoughtful, affectionate, sweet and sometimes overly energetic boys. We’ll knock down the biggest block towers, build cities out of Legos read adventure stores and watch superhero movies.  I’ll break up the game war (where they kick each other until one of them cries), spot them when they use the bunk bed as a jungle gym, laugh at the fart jokes and play tag. I’ll comfort them after they’ve fallen doing exactly what I just told them not to, and occasionally, if I’m really feeling generous, we’ll even battle with action figures.

I’m ecstatic about having another one in the mix. I wouldn’t change it for a thousand tiny dresses.  I have plenty of things about being a woman that I get to pass on to them, just, in a different way.

And besides, I’ve already got the stuff.

7 thoughts on “I already have all the stuff.

  1. It always bugs me that people act like you have to have boys and girls to have a “complete” family. I think it’s awesome how excited you are about your boys!

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  2. I think it’s awesome that you’re having three boys. When I found out we were pregnant with Bryce I praaaaayed for a boy. I had no idea what I was going to do with a girl. And now I have two. If we ever end up having a third I almost am hoping for a girl just so I can respond to people who ask if we hope we’re having a boy. And no, Wes doesn’t care if we have another girl. 🙂

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  3. I really love this. With a stepson and two sons, people naturally assume I want to have another child so I can “get my girl.” Ummmm, no. I don’t need any more children. I have the number of children I want. If I wanted another one, I would be happy with a girl or boy. And even though I have all the stuff, I’d buy more anyway, because baby stuff is really fun to buy.

    And I’m super glad I never have to buy a first bra, tampon, Seventeen magazine, prom dress, etc. Well, I don’t know, I suppose there is a remote possibility one of my boys will need a dress or a Seventeen magazine, but even so…

    I hear ya. I’m not sorry I didn’t “get my girl”. I would be more appreciative of congratulations and condolences on the unmistakable blessing of bringing a child into the world!

    So, CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR THIRD BOY!!!

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  4. I love that you are teaching your boys to be good men. I am doing the same. Their wives will be very happy with our men.
    Speaking of stuff, I still have some of yours 🙂 The sheer amount of ‘stuff’ I have is ridiculous. I should have 10 kids in this house if we are basing things off of stuff. If you do have a girl at some point, you have all the stuff for her too, it’s stored at my house, ha ha.

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