Just before 5am on a Saturday:
Child 2 woke up having apparently had a dream about bugs in his bed but was too afraid of the dark hallway to come to us so just yells to me from down the hall. Child 4 was nursing to stay asleep and would wake up and clamp down little more each time I tried to call down the hall back to Child 2.
Calling down the hall woke me up enough to realize I needed to pee which was going to be pretty much impossible to do without waking Child 4 up completely.
I make a mental list of pos and cons.
Enter Child 3 not afraid of the dark but shuffling into our bedroom in sobbing that he “missed Blaze”
I have no idea who Blaze is.
For a moment, nobody in our bed is asleep so I risk it and take a trip to the bathroom located, unfortunately, just passed child 2’s bedroom.
He jumps out at me “I have to sleep in your bed”
“You can’t buddy, there’s no room.”
“I can sleep at the bottom”
“No you can’t, go back to your bed” (perhaps I sound cold hearted but he’s 8 and two kids are already in there)
“I can’t. There are bugs in there. I have to find somewhere else to sleep.”
So I pee quickly and try to make a bed on the couch for Child 2 knowing that every second I’m not in bed my chances of getting Child 4 back to sleep diminishes. I can hear Child 3 still crying about his beloved Blaze.
Husband puts Child 3 back into the right bed and sits in his room with him.
The sound of Child 2 stomping back up the stairs.
The crushing weight of nearly 30lb child 4 (yes, the baby is nearly 30lbs) on my ribcage signing “baby” which means he wants to watch Baby Signing Time. Not the whole video though, just the first minute on repeat.
I lay in bed, lit with an electronic glow listening to the sounds of Child 4’s favorite show. I try to doze keeping one eye open in case the baby has a sudden impulse to smash me on the head with the iPad. It’s been known to happen.
It’s over. I give up.
So here I am.
Child 3 is asleep.
Child 2 is watching TV.
Child 4 is on my lap watching his video. Yawning. Obnoxious, given the circumstances.
Child 1 slept though the entire thing (all the lights are on in his room but apparently that doesn’t matter)
Husband is asleep.
It’s 5:30 am… I might as well put the kettle on for coffee.
Happy Saturday everyone.